Well, I am delighted I got
Link Referrals’ community’ attention; I promise you that you are not here in vain, if anything reading this short true story may give you a chuckle or two, I hope maybe even a good and healthy laugh.
It was a sunny and breezy Saturday morning in a day when the house was all to myself. Nobody was around and most of my chores were almost done. I was on my way to the shower, completely naked, and then heard our hard working mail man dropping our mail off. I waited for him till he finished his work and went away; then carefully I looked through the window, didn’t see a soul and went out the door to get my mail. I had been waiting for a few pieces of mail for a while – just a couple of checks and a load of bills of course –. I do not know what came over me, picking up the mail could have waited until I finished my shower, and was fully clothed. But a driven impulse took over me and that did it. I hopped over towards the mail box and retrieved my mail. As soon as I picked the mail I suddenly got that sinking feeling something was going to happen… and then I heard a loud and clear bam behind me, and something did happen. When I turned around to confirm what had taken place I realized I had neglected to unlock the door and it shut behind me! Oops!
I raised my hands while holding the mail and took a hard look at the door and I said something really nasty; then I turned around looked down the street and I got that sinking feeling again. What am I going to do now? I am completely naked, nobody around and no cell phone to call anyone, and the house doors and windows completely shut for the winter. I started laughing and calling myself names for allowing such stupid incident to take place, and then I came to the realization that regardless what happened, I was in trouble and I needed to do something fast.
What could happen if I knock on my neighbors’ doors without any cloths on, would they laugh or would they call the cops? Should I wait in the backyard completely naked as I was for somebody to come? That could take several hours and I would surely freeze to death I thought. How long would it take for a human being to freeze to death, do you know? Of course I did not know that either. Can I start
Walking Naked
in the street with one hand in the front and the other in the back without being noticed? If am lucky, maybe a few people will join me – naked of course - and we all walk together as if we have something to complain or celebrate about. I’m sure when they see my smiling face they will think I am up to something and they will definitely want to be part of it too. What could happen if the cops come and see me naked, would they call for back up and reinforcements? Or they may play it safe and call the
FBI instead? Can they do that to me?
While all these thoughts are playing out in my head and old friend driving by saw me and shouted from inside his car: “Find the smallest glass in the house and break it so you can get in.” I shout back at him and told him to hush up. He knew exactly what has taking place. He came out of his car with a smirk on his face; "you look very pale" he said. Of course I look pale, I was freezing. We looked around for several minutes and finally decided on a glass out of the basement. We broke it but then realized it was too small and very difficult to reach the floor inside. I was glad that did not work. Can you imagine what a picture would that be with half of my body hanging inside the house and my ass sticking out the broken window?
We were looking for another window-glass to break and suddenly a cop sneaked up behind us. He was very serious and quite surprised to see a clothed man with a wooden stick in his hand and a freezing naked man standing alongside with him. Are you the owner of this house? He asked very firmly and authoritatively! Yes I replied... Can you show me some identification? My friend could not help it but he burst out laughing very loudly. And then he said to the cop pointing at me: “Look at him, he is naked” As if I did not know that I was naked and cold, and to add salt to injury they both started laughing hysterically.
I joined in the fun and we laughed for several minutes but nobody realized that I was really freezing and I needed to get some clothes on right away. The cop called my wife and she said she was on her way in with the house key. He turned around towards his patrol car and told me to follow him to get a blanket and to help him with his paper work. Walking towards the car he took his walkie-talkie and reported the incident to his superiors, apparently, and he started laughing hysterically again. I did not think that was very nice. I just wanted to get some cloths on to get warm and the hell with his fun, his superiors, and the paper work, but I did it anyway!
My neighbors came and looked inside the car and noticed that I was naked and they started to ask questions and to allude that perhaps I have lost it, and that the police had the right idea to lock me up. When my wife came, I ran inside our house with her as fast as I could and the cop hastily ran after me to get his blanket. And of course, that’s all my neighbors needed to see to confirm how justified the cop was to lock me up. Finally, when the whole episode was over, and after a few drinks, my wife came up to me and asked: Did you have any fun doing it? Is that something you do when there’s nobody else in the house? Shame on you! Of course I did not respond to that remark, I had enough for the day already. I simply went back to read
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